Steall Path

Having spent so much time in the Steall area recently and simply just because I love the place I felt I should stick a link to the JMT appeal on here as well as FB, fundraising is going well and they are nearing their target http://www.jmt.org/appeal.asp

E7 Attempt Teaser

Heres a link from James to a short trailer for a film project we're working on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4YndzU5dh0

E7 Fail & Running Success

With pressure growing from within my own head I've been suffering sleepless nights thinking about going for the lead on the E7 project and with James , Dave and Johann we headed up the other night to check it out! When we arrived the crag was starting to seep, I went to check it out a bit more and as I did so tripped over my pack, by the time I noticed it it was merrily starting to roll its way back down the epic 400m approach and we could do nothing but laugh and hope it stopped which it did after 100m thankfully. The next night we slogged back up and got on the route, it was still warm though and a part of me began to have doubts but my keenness to experience another bold lead took over and I decided to go for it. It went well up to the crux and I guess I over thought as when I started into the crux the tiny voice of doubt suddenly turned into a screaming voice so I down climbed to the relative safety of the crescent , got a rope to me and lowered off!

                            On my lead attempt of Pallor E7 6b

As I lowered off  I contemplated getting straight back on and had a bit of a time deciding but my more sensible side prevailed and with it being such a serious route I thought it best to come back another time after a bit more climbing. I was disappointed with myself for wimping out but at the same time I was surprised at the fact I could walk away much easier than I would have done before having my accident!

Trying to put a smile on while dealing with disappointment in myself

I like that climbing forces you to deal with all these negative emotions, I feel like it cleanses all that darkness from me which is another reason to love this game.

Today Dave and I decided to get in a hill day and settled on doing the Ring of Steall as quick as we could, I found it quite hard keeping up at a couple of points but kept going any way and really enjoyed pushing myself again and it's really got me psyched for more big hill days as my ankle and knees weren't too bad.

                          Me on the Devils Ridge

            Dave on the last top with Ben Nevis in the background

Psyche meets Fear

I got a text from Dave the other night saying about a new slab he had found on one of his training runs.The text mentioned E7 and E8 solos and I after my recent decision to make a real effort to stop soloing I had to think about it for a whole 2 or 3 minutes before the psyche kicked in and I was keen to at least have a look.

So we headed out on Friday and set off up the brutal approach and as I arrived at the crag I saw what Dave meant about it being very reminiscent of Firestone in the Gorms. We set up a top rope and I got on the potential E7 line first,stunning climbing and I got to the last move first try then made the slab climbing error of over reaching and slipped. Dave got on next and unsurprisingly made it look easy.

Dave cleaning a hold as we discussed how to try avoid a horrendous fall into the gully below the line.

After the E7 Dave got straight on the E8 line and despatched it clean on the top rope too, for a brief moment I thought he was going to go for the lead on the E7 but with the heat and occasional spit of rain it probably wasn't prime conditions.

After he lowered down I decided to have a blast on the E8 line just to see the moves,I genuinely expected to fall off on the first moves but to my surprise I did it clean on first try.

              A foreshortened view of the E8,still a long way from the top and safety.

Showing a bit more of the route,the only gear would be in the lip at the bottom, it would stop you rolling 400m down the hill but wouldn't stop you hitting the deck.

I was really surprised at managing this but the prospect of leading/soloing such a terrifying route will definitely give me some food for thought over the next while, more visits on cooler days should help decide and hopefully the psyche will far outweigh the fear by then, though the psyche is already winning the battle............

Project E8

With my ankle pain increasing a bit more I feel I really have to try push harder at my climbing dreams, time to wake up and make them a reality. With the grant I was fortunate enough to receive from the Mountaineering Council of Scotland I'm aiming to make E8 happen before my operation and to climb as hard as I can in winter. 

The last time I tried E8! Pic-Suzy Devey

The last time I tried E8 I think subconsciously I knew I wasn't doing it with my best interests at heart but this time it feels better. I feel if I can manage this I could ,in good conscience, move onto concentrating on the Himalayas without distraction. Also I'll be pretty sure I'll have pushed my trad as far as I can. I wont be quitting rock climbing but simply putting all my effort into another facet which will allow me to push myself in other ways, in another arena and explore the possibilities both physical and mental that climbing in such a harsh environment presents.

I have somewhat of a plan for building up to 'Project E8' , as I've only got around a year before my next operation I not only want to tick off E8 but also do a lot of routes that I've always been keen on but never quite got round to and that ranges from scrambles on the Ben to E7's in the Mourne Mountains and if I'm lucky enough to get the weather to do these things I'll be in pretty good shape to take on whatever route I choose to go at as long as I also put in the training hours.

I'm really psyched at the moment and there is lots happening between the E8, other routes, film projects coming up, keen climbing partners, new job, trying to get ready for SPA and ML, it's going to be a busy year....................

Soloing, No Easy Way Out

I realise after a week of thought that I was an idiot to think I'd just walk away from a decade long compulsion so easily. As soon as I thought I had made the decision to quit I felt the old demon ask who I thought I was that I could just leave it behind. It does feel somewhat different these days though, like the demon and me have mellowed a bit in the time since I soloed E7. I know there isn't an easy get out clause from something that was so compelling, powerful and dominating but I know I have more control these days.

                        This is pretty much how I feel at the moment

I doubt I'll ever totally quit soloing but I wont be doing it for the sake of it anymore, it'll be only on ground where there is no choice or that I feel is truly worth the risk. In the past I soloed as a pretty hardcore escape from the things going on in my mind and it did that brilliantly but success on those routes caused a need to do it more, I was lucky to get away with it. I definitely feel more at peace with it these days and I hope that continues, it feels good to walk away when I'm not feeling it and be happy with that choice............For the time being anyway!

Revelation

I went out the other day with Jenny , Dave and Alison with the intention of getting some footage for Jennys portfolio. Things didn't go quite to plan and ,for me anyway, it ended up being an interesting day! The plan had been to do an E2 headpoint, E3 solo and E3 onsight, the first one happened easily but the next 2 didn't. As we headed up to Blacks Buttress for the E3 solo the heat was rising and my psyche began to lower. I got on the route on a top rope and managed the moves without much of a problem but as I lowered off to contemplate the solo I just didn't feel right at all. I have always loved soloing but at that distinct moment I questioned whether it was what I wanted and to even ask the question means doubts and soloing is unforgiving of these feelings so I bottled out and left. I think this could be the end of my soloing career unless a route comes along that really motivates me to do it again I think I'm finished with it. I count myself lucky to have done 11 years of it without physical harm. I'm still coming to terms with having to possibly quit that part of my life, I'm sure I'll write more in the next few days but in the meantime here's Jennys wee film from our outing................
http://vimeo.com/43544801