Monday, 11 June 2012

Soloing, No Easy Way Out

I realise after a week of thought that I was an idiot to think I'd just walk away from a decade long compulsion so easily. As soon as I thought I had made the decision to quit I felt the old demon ask who I thought I was that I could just leave it behind. It does feel somewhat different these days though, like the demon and me have mellowed a bit in the time since I soloed E7. I know there isn't an easy get out clause from something that was so compelling, powerful and dominating but I know I have more control these days.

                        This is pretty much how I feel at the moment

I doubt I'll ever totally quit soloing but I wont be doing it for the sake of it anymore, it'll be only on ground where there is no choice or that I feel is truly worth the risk. In the past I soloed as a pretty hardcore escape from the things going on in my mind and it did that brilliantly but success on those routes caused a need to do it more, I was lucky to get away with it. I definitely feel more at peace with it these days and I hope that continues, it feels good to walk away when I'm not feeling it and be happy with that choice............For the time being anyway!

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