With pressure growing from within my own head I've been suffering sleepless nights thinking about going for the lead on the E7 project and with James , Dave and Johann we headed up the other night to check it out! When we arrived the crag was starting to seep, I went to check it out a bit more and as I did so tripped over my pack, by the time I noticed it it was merrily starting to roll its way back down the epic 400m approach and we could do nothing but laugh and hope it stopped which it did after 100m thankfully. The next night we slogged back up and got on the route, it was still warm though and a part of me began to have doubts but my keenness to experience another bold lead took over and I decided to go for it. It went well up to the crux and I guess I over thought as when I started into the crux the tiny voice of doubt suddenly turned into a screaming voice so I down climbed to the relative safety of the crescent , got a rope to me and lowered off!
As I lowered off I contemplated getting straight back on and had a bit of a time deciding but my more sensible side prevailed and with it being such a serious route I thought it best to come back another time after a bit more climbing. I was disappointed with myself for wimping out but at the same time I was surprised at the fact I could walk away much easier than I would have done before having my accident!
I like that climbing forces you to deal with all these negative emotions, I feel like it cleanses all that darkness from me which is another reason to love this game.
Today Dave and I decided to get in a hill day and settled on doing the Ring of Steall as quick as we could, I found it quite hard keeping up at a couple of points but kept going any way and really enjoyed pushing myself again and it's really got me psyched for more big hill days as my ankle and knees weren't too bad.