Down the Line

So it's been 2 months since my operation and I've spent most of it in excruciating pain. I had a review with the main surgeon yesterday and the op has failed and I now need a full fusion op. This entails around 3 months waiting list but in NHS time that's at least 6 and around 1 year after op till I'm even walking again let alone getting out on the hill. My only other option is to go back to climbing and work and try learn a way to ignore the pain and get the op 2 years down the line to give me time to finish some projects, or try to finish them.


My focus has been off recently,I need to get back to the focus I had here a few years ago. Pic Steve Gordon

It feels like a huge decision to make but as I sat on the train home from Glasgow at 5pm last night I somewhat knew what I'd do. I looked around the carriage at the sad faces, the rain pouring down outside,the faces on the street and in the cars all looking the same I felt a surge of horror at the prospect of being like them after the operation renders me unable of work for a long time at any job other than being chairbound. I looked out the window on the other side as the Campsies and the road North came into view I felt a serious urge to escape. Next thing I noticed was the constant noise, I tried to think of climbing as the anxiety and claustrophobia began to rise, I imagine I'm ice climbing on the Ben, all I can hear is my breathing and the picks and crampons biting ice, the shards of ice tumbling below me and a bit of peace returns. Home and time to do a bit of training and a lot of thinking.........