Not Sure.....

I'm not really sure what to call this post hence the name. I visited a different orthopaedic surgeon the other day for another opinion (3rd opinion) and was told it shouldn't be possible for me to be going on the hill at all anymore with the state of my ankles/knees. More surgery is in the pipeline and more throughout my life is inevitable. The surgeon told me if I give up climbing I may totally avoid surgery but I cant even comprehend life without it. I took what the Doc said with a pinch of salt but even at that I know within myself that my time is limited so I'm just going to follow his parting words, "Keep going till you cant take the pain anymore".......

End of the line or just another obstacle

Face for radio

Today I headed up to the Ben to actually try climb a route for the first time since last February. I was with Dave and Chris from BBC Radio Scotlands Out of Doors programme who was interviewing me for the show. We had intended to climb Green Gully but there was a crown wall just below it and a fair basin of snow just hanging there so we chickened out and headed to Ledge Route instead, most people seemed to have the same idea. We made good time up but the descent was excruciating on my ankles, worth it though. Time to get on the painkillers now.

Chris and myself

Me being a poser

Chris and Dave

Dave and Chris enjoying a brief view toward Loch Eil

Newtyle & Nevis

On Wednesday myself and Joe headed over to Newtyle to meet up with Greg and Simon for some training. Simon worked his project on the Happy Hooker wall while Greg made us all feel like total punters. I was there trying to do Fast & Furious without using many figure of fours which places much more demand on my left hand/arm. On my last attempt I felt strong but pushed the velcro on my prosthetic and couldn't get it to restick, cue anger and swearing. It was Joes first day at the cave trying F&F and he got to within two moves of the lower off which was a bloody good effort, both feeling psyched for another visit ASAP.

Joe on F&F

Yesterday Andy and myself went for a walk up to the CIC hut to have a look at conditions, snowy would best describe it. The ankle hurt like hell for a bit but need to persevere, was great to be among mountains again.

Andy approaching the hut

Is it?

I recently read Blair Fyffes blog post and his thoughts on whether climbing is worth its inherent costs, you can read it here... http://blairfyffe.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/is-it-worth-it.html .I found it very interesting and it made me think quite a bit, strange for me! Up until very recently I'd asked myself the same question a few times but never delved too far  into it. Even if I wanted to question its worth anymore these days its not worth it for me to do so. I've invested too heavily in the life and when I look back on all that I've willingly given up for example financial security, 'comfortable relationships', friendships or my left pinkie digit. Or on the other hand (pardon the pun) the things I've had to give up against my will, ankle, knee and hip health, trying to switch axes, my Astra SRI or trying to make a particular relationship work, even mental health at one point.

Nearing being mentally broken above The Hurting-Pic- Steve Gordon

In gearing myself up mentally to attempt The Hurting XI/11 in the Gorms I thought I'd have to be in a very dark place. The vital life saving bit of gear on the route was out to the left and I couldn't get to it so if I committed to the route I knew it was top out or fall and likely die. I purposefully depressed myself and got to the stage I thought I was ready and looking back now shockingly selfish enough to go for it. I spent a while scoping the route and the moves before realising it was guaranteed death. As I sat at the top of the ridge before walking out I knew I'd went a bit too far, escaping that depression without success on The Hurting was hard work. I questioned how far I'd been willing to go for a route after that.  

Broken ankle after falling trying a new route

Even after falling and breaking my ankle and near skewering myself on my axe I only questioned the mistakes I made, never once questioning climbing and the dominating control it has on my life, should I have? No.  

After the 1st ascent of a new bold E6 6b, the smile answers whether its worth the cost-Pic Glenda Anderson

Of course climbing at your own personal limits has its costs, as Blair says even the time training for it is tough on relationships let alone all that goes along with it. I think we all question it a wee bit sometimes but I doubt any of us would change what we do. When we look honestly at what climbing and being in the mountains in general gives us and truly ask ourselves "Is it worth it??" whats your answer? Mines is without doubt yes! 

Small Victories

Today Dave and myself decided it was time to try a hill to see where our collective injuries were at. Dave suggested the Wee Buachaille as a good relatively short test so we headed up this morning.

Winter truly arrives, frozen Mars Bars!

Dave heading for the final ridge.

My turn for trail breaking.

I felt fine on the way up but definitely toiled on the descent and Dave felt a few twinges from his injured back but we'll keep at it and hopefully be ready for a productive time later in the season after a bit more mountaineering. It was great to be back out in Scottish winter, there truly is nothing quite like it!

Happy on the summit of our first proper hill since both our hospital stints. 

CAC Comp Roundup

On Saturday at the Ice Factor we held the first Festival of Ice in aid of Climbers Against Cancer and with only a few bumps along the way we had a successful event and raised around £2000 for CAC. The comp attracted a full house of seasoned professionals and keen amateurs alike. The finals produced some great performances. After the prize giving Simon Yearsley gave a talk about new routing in Scotland which fired everyone up. 

Discussing the route with female finalists-Pic- GnBri Photography

Ice Factor Crew looking busy- Pic- Gabi Tomescu

The after party as usual involved plenty whisky and laughs, thankfully this year Steve Johnstone forgot the Buckfast.

Myself, Dougie, Steve and Greg at the partayyyy-Pic-Steve Johnstone

On the Sunday Dave MacLeod gave a great talk on winter climbing and also some masterclasses. All in all a great weekend and thanks to everyone who got involved to make it happen and make it a success!!!!!

6 Months On

For the past few weeks I've been starting to try push myself a bit and regain a bit more of old form so I've been putting in plenty sessions at the Ice Factor with the lads on the rock, ice and DT. I've also started Crossfit in Fort William which is great. I've also teamed up with Rebecca Dent to sort my diet out too. 

Training at Ice Factor-Pic-Gabi Tomescu

We've had some great weather here the past few days and I eventually felt my ankle had recovered enough to walk further up the Glen to check a project I'd spotted some time ago. I headed up with James and Rich yesterday to check it and for the lads to check something too. The line didn't look any easier than I remember so I decided to give it a try on top rope and start the major cleaning operation. I managed almost all the moves but a lead is a long way off, it's definitely high end E7 with the only gear near the bottom and near the top, utterly terrifying, psyched. Also spotted a few other potential lines, happy days!

James and Rich with Steall Falls in the background

Today James, Mia and myself headed halfway up Ben Nevis to help with a litter pick that was part of a 3 Peaks clean up project organised by our mate Rich Pyne.

Mia with one of the less disgusting things we cleared up

We met more than our share of idiots and ignorant folks but one crew in particular who seemed like they had already been drinking and were causalities waiting to happen, both James and I had words with them and a few others. However on the way down we found what we think was some of their bevy stash chilling in the burn, karma strikes again.  

James 'clearing up' the cans, who needs Highland Spring

We cleared a lot just between the 3 of us and the guys who cleared from the summit down will no doubt have lifted plenty too, good effort to those who got involved giving up their own time to clean up the hill and to Rich for organising it!