Frustration

Recently I've been trying a lot of new routes and attempting repeats but without much success. Most of the time it's been down to my hand and regardless of how much I try to accept I'm disabled I can't seem to quite get there with it and it makes me angry with myself. In turn though I hate myself for being weak in not accepting that I'm different. If I could beat these pathetic weaknesses then maybe the demons that push me so hard wouldn't have such a hold over me and my life, whether this would be good or bad I do not know, I doubt I ever will.

Struggling to accept that I'm beaten on a route in the Glen, these are always shit times -Pic- Suzy Devey

Today though was one of those days that make all the misery, self hate and insomnia that comes with constantly trying other routes worth it. Dave, Donald, Suzy and myself headed out Glenfinnan way. I had an E5 to go at and Dave had a new route project to go at.

This shot captures a bit of what climbing is really about for me, good company and good laughs

Pic- Suzy Devey

As Dave and I worked our respective routes I knew pretty quickly that I was ready physically for the route, I just had to (in the words of Mr T) "Get some nuts" and go for it. So I tied in and sorted my rack which didn't take long as it was just a skyhook. I started up the climb, the first few moves I was struggling to relax with my head still a bit messed up from my fall but I knew if I pushed on I'd be fine, I knew this as if I wasn't and started to tremble I'd be off the precarious slab. I moved up and placed the skyhook, Donald tied it off at the base, time to go for it. Moving up on nail edges and small quartz holds I began to remember the feeling of bold routes I crave. As I climbed on and became more committed then the more I relaxed, this bodes well for another impending trip to the Mournes.

Nearing mid way on Frustration E5 6a - Pic Suzy Devey

Next up Dave despatched a new hard route, I don't know grade or name so I'll leave out details for Dave to blog about, needless to say it was an impressive bit of climbing. He then proceeded to easily onsight the E5 I had just done, a close call near the top though as just as he caught the large hold at the end of the route a fighter jet blasted overhead by only a few hundred feet (if that) and gave everyone a bit of a jump. All in all though today was an awesome day..................