Motivated for Winter (again)

Yesterday Johann and I had a lazy start up to Aonach Mor with the plan to climb Stirling Bridge, a Steve Kennedy route I've been keen to try for a long time. When we walked in the weather was crap but slowly it cleared while I was climbing and it turned out to be a stunning day. As it turned out the conditions for getting gear wasn't perfect and I never judged the kit I would need very well so we lowered off a few battered wires, next time though. I was expecting to be pissed of but wasn't at all, was enjoyable climbing, good laugh and a great view...............

On Stirling Bridge VI/VII

Johann heading to the cornice at the top of Easy Gully

New Year, Old Lessons

A new year and it's time for a new start. I've been struggling a bit with my depression again recently, thankfully I've learned to cope with it better than I did when I first got it with the epilepsy. Also the ankle injury getting worse by the day aint helping much so I've been trying to find a way to refine my approach to life which of course basically ,for me, means my climbing. Up till recently the lessons I took from Mark Twight have stood me in good stead but the solid foundation I built using his ruthless approach to climbing (and life) has begun to crumble a bit under the weight of certain aspects of my life so I needed to find something to reinforce them. In my search I've tried reading all sorts of sport psychology stuff and realised it's all bollocks, it took me back to when seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist after becoming epileptic and after months of trying they told me I was beyond help?? This I took as a good thing though as it meant I knew it was only me who could help myself and I wasn't dependent on anyone else, thankfully.My search for new inspiration found me reading a lot of philosophy etc and some of it was good but nothing stood out that made the difference that Kiss or Kill did. My search for a new approach was upped a gear recently after failing on the Cathedral once again and watching Andy Turner making it look piss easy!

Packing up, dejected after my 7th defeat on the Cathedral, Pic-Steve Gordon

I found what I was looking for completely by chance a few weeks ago. My Dad had a book about decisive days in history, one of which contained a section about Japanese warlord Tokugawa Ieyasu. I had tried to avoid reading much Eastern philosophy etc as it felt a bit clichéd but reading this chapter has helped me immensely!! This guy had a theory that basically ran on the premise of " There are 7 emotions, Joy, Anger, Anxiety, Adoration, Grief, Fear and Hate, if a man doesn't give way to these he can be called patient, I am not as strong as I should be but I have long known and practised patience". Ever since reading this I have tried to put it into practise at every opportunity, anytime I have felt any of the above emotions I have attempted to control them on a deeper level than I have ever done before, hopefully with a bit of training I'll become more adept at applying this philosophy to my everyday life. I know I wont stop having these feelings but having better control over them should help me, I hope............

Tolerance , Round 3 pics

Here are some pics from the 3rd attempt at Tolerance . All pics by Suzy Devey...............................

Dot and I chatting and getting a brew between snow showers

Trying to melt ice with my palm while trying to regain a smidgen of feeling in my left hand, a battle I rapidly lost!!

Trying again to get a bit of sensitivity in my hand before launching into trying the hard moves!!

That's solid ice on the sole of my rock shoes, not ideal....................

Slush Climbing

In the past few days I've been out a couple of times to get into the swing of ice climbing again, just in time for the thaw!!! My foot is causing increasing pain but I cant stop getting out and climbing ,time to admit to myself I'm hopelessly addicted to climbing perhaps?

I went up to the CIC cascades with Rich on Thursday and even though it was thawing rapidly we had a good day on the ice. Only one other party on the hill which was the quietest I've ever seen the Ben on a good winters day.

Rich on the walk in to the ice on Thursday

On Xmas I was surprised when my mate Andy turned up in the Fort to run me back to Ayrshire, my plans for Xmas day had been to go soloing then eat a pizza but between everyone I know laughing at me for being on my own on Xmas Day and Suzy and Rich devouring my pizza I decided to visit the Shire. The local waterfall had frozen for the first time in 15 years but unfortunately by the time we sobered up enough to go near it it was like climbing a slush puppy. I climbed up a few feet but the whole thing was pouring with water, big chunks collapsing and my axes were ripping through so it was home, changed and out for a good old Dalry pint which inevitably turned into a 10 hour drinking session.............

On the Lynn Falls in the Shire

Slab Video

Heres a link to UKC with a short video of Dave and me at the slab routes the other week..............

http://www.ukclimbing.com/news/item.php?id=59226

Rock & Ice

On Saturday evening Dot, Suzy and myself headed for Belfast once again. A forecast for chilly but clear conditions was enough to get me psyched for yet another attempt at Tolerance. after a chilled evening at Rickys place we got up early in the morning, gearing up at the car we could see the Tors basking in the morning sun but we were also very aware of a front building to the North East. Ricky and Danny went to check out some boulders while we walked into the crag and set up, Ricky made a cool video of their day here http://www.vimeo.com/17337493

With a distinct feeling of Deja Vu Binnian began to disappear into the cloud the closer we got to it. I had a look at the route, it wasn't ideal but set up the rope anyway, as soon as I did that the blizzard hit. I decided to give it a try anyway but kept skidding on the ice or losing feeling trying to grip on snow/ice covered ledges. I abbed off and brushed away the snow and tried again but by this time it was winter conditions and I was climbing in rolled up trousers and sleeves. I completely lost feeling in fingers and toes and had to give in, gutted. on the walk out it became apparent that it wasn't ideal rock climbing conditions as there were fully formed icefalls almost 1000ft below where I was trying to climb. It turned to full on conditions on the way out and I began to accept that rock climbing in the mountains was finished for the season................Maybe

Frustration

Recently I've been trying a lot of new routes and attempting repeats but without much success. Most of the time it's been down to my hand and regardless of how much I try to accept I'm disabled I can't seem to quite get there with it and it makes me angry with myself. In turn though I hate myself for being weak in not accepting that I'm different. If I could beat these pathetic weaknesses then maybe the demons that push me so hard wouldn't have such a hold over me and my life, whether this would be good or bad I do not know, I doubt I ever will.

Struggling to accept that I'm beaten on a route in the Glen, these are always shit times -Pic- Suzy Devey

Today though was one of those days that make all the misery, self hate and insomnia that comes with constantly trying other routes worth it. Dave, Donald, Suzy and myself headed out Glenfinnan way. I had an E5 to go at and Dave had a new route project to go at.

This shot captures a bit of what climbing is really about for me, good company and good laughs

Pic- Suzy Devey

As Dave and I worked our respective routes I knew pretty quickly that I was ready physically for the route, I just had to (in the words of Mr T) "Get some nuts" and go for it. So I tied in and sorted my rack which didn't take long as it was just a skyhook. I started up the climb, the first few moves I was struggling to relax with my head still a bit messed up from my fall but I knew if I pushed on I'd be fine, I knew this as if I wasn't and started to tremble I'd be off the precarious slab. I moved up and placed the skyhook, Donald tied it off at the base, time to go for it. Moving up on nail edges and small quartz holds I began to remember the feeling of bold routes I crave. As I climbed on and became more committed then the more I relaxed, this bodes well for another impending trip to the Mournes.

Nearing mid way on Frustration E5 6a - Pic Suzy Devey

Next up Dave despatched a new hard route, I don't know grade or name so I'll leave out details for Dave to blog about, needless to say it was an impressive bit of climbing. He then proceeded to easily onsight the E5 I had just done, a close call near the top though as just as he caught the large hold at the end of the route a fighter jet blasted overhead by only a few hundred feet (if that) and gave everyone a bit of a jump. All in all though today was an awesome day..................