No Rain??

With a decent forecast it was time to get out and make the most of it over the weekend.On Friday Michelle took me for my first paddle, 26k down a river near Beauly. It was good to try a different sport and see the area from a different perspective.

View from the kayak

In the gorge near the end of the day

After paddling it was a busy drive back to the Fort through holiday traffic and home to have a BBQ, cool way to end the day!

Johann, Suzy, Kieran, Sarah and myself before copious amounts of alcohol were consumed!!

Rested up for most of Saturday between hangover, the heat and left hand being sore from paddling then went up the Glen to check out a line. Sitting up there chilling out on my own is a great way to relax and get focused.

On Sunday it was up onto Tower Ridge with Craig. The only other people on the North Face were a party on Observatory Ridge and a worried soloist who caught us at Tower Gap and we roped across.

Quick piece break before heading to the Eastern Traverse

Craig scoping the Gap before the soloist appeared

After we got down the weather was still holding so it was up to Sheepfank Wall to get on the E3 I was psyched for. Suzy was keen to come up and get some pictures. I had tried this route before but couldn't get my left thumb to hold the crux in the heat. Last night was cooler and with a breeze to keep the midges at bay it was perfect.

Approaching the hard sequence - Pic - Suzy Devey

It was good to get back on a fairly bold route to make sure my mind hadn't been affected by falling last week. In a strange way I feel more comfortable since it happened. I do not know why this is. My left foot slipped at one point but I felt no worry and simply climbed on like it hadn't happened which is good for my head.

In the middle of the crux - Pic - Suzy devey

Another Tumble

Having been up the Glen scouting for routes with Suzy the other day I'm still mega keen on finding projects to work at here so when Dave called yesterday to see if I fancied a blast to Polldubh to have a go at some stuff I thought it was a good idea. We headed up in the afternoon, Dave onsighted Black Friday then we went to Road Buttress to have a look around. After finding a relatively dry route I proceeded to try it while on 3 'bomber' cams. I rested with my feet at around 10ft (maximum) when suddenly the first 2 cams ripped, that familiar and horrendous noise of ripping gear, the feeling of plummeting, enough time to wonder if the next cam will hold, realising it hasn't, the stomach churning noise as I hit the ground in a lying down position, the pain of being winded, then turning and in what must have been a split second seeing Daves legs in the air (knew there was something wrong at that point) and the rope speeding away, grab the rope, Dave runs up to check I'm okay, we laugh a lot, me because I'm glad I'm not badly injured, Dave probably because he's glad he doesn't need to carry me out the Glen ,again.

Stunning sky on the descent from the Ben

I got home around 5 and decided I was fine to carry on with my plan of meeting Johann and heading up the Ben. We battered up to Castle Ridge at a fair old pace and did the supposedly more interesting start, not one I'd recommend, on the way down I started to feel a bit iffy but simply put it down to an adrenalin come down. Got up feeling really ill this morning and spent most of my day in A&E, the outcome being I have concussion, few days off then I had better get back to it as I cannot afford to be scared in the build up to Tolerance!!

Focus

Since the fall last year I knew I was going to have to come back to climbing and try better my E7 effort. I was almost happy to leave things at this level but I knew after the accident if I wanted to lay down the demon of fear I would have to push on further than before. I didn't realise at the time how much farther this would take me. Since I got back on my feet and back to the crags my whole life has been devoted to trying to find an E8 I could potentially climb. I have trained harder than ever and simplified my life even more by cutting more away, to the point I now think I have nothing more to be rid of, people, possessions etc! At times it is difficult keeping focused though and I have hated myself on more than one occasion for lack of discipline, a recent example being a near descent back to borderline alcoholism. Disgusted with my weakness I have poured everything into getting this E8 in the bag. What's really important to yourself becomes increasingly clearer in the build up to these moments in life, for me only having those and that which are truly important is the only way for me to safely (relatively) continue to live this way. Not as easy as it sounds unfortunately, it's a hard balancing act.

Focus as it should be if I was a Zen master

Focus as it more realistically is in my life!!

The physical side of this focus is easy, it's the mental side I find really taking it's toll, no sleep, no focus in any other aspect of my life, the usual but magnified. I've been on four specific trips to Ireland now to climb Tolerance and had to cancel many more at the last minute due to weather. I think it's because I feel for the first time I'm truly pushing myself hard and not just pushing my luck, though there's still a large element of that. In the past when I've done harder things there's a good percentage in my favour but now it's maybe beginning to tip away from 50/50. Risk etc are things I can deal with, what's really getting to me is building up to going at this route then stepping down again when the weather craps out. If it was safe I'd be happy to remain patient but when I'm having to talk myself into accepting the potential cost of my actions and get into the frame of mind to take big risks but then have no outlet for it and have to re-adjust to normality is doing my head in. i really need to dump this demon...............

Scottish Summer

Headed down to the Buachaille again today for Johann to log more scrambling days for an upcoming assessment. We saw the forecast but thought we would go have a look anyway. We arrived in fairly okay weather so decided it was worth a try, probably through desperation to climb on rock again as it's pissed down relentlessly for 3 weeks now!

Trying to keep a sense of humour at the base of Broad Buttress while eating a soggy bagel!!

Sense of humour failing in strong wind, hail and sleet, at least it keeps the midges away!

Johann laughing at the ridiculousness of our summer weather. 5 minutes after this we had to crawl to the ridge as the wind was ferocious and kept knocking us over, good times!! It's to be worse tomorrow (130mph apparently) day at the Ice Factor I think?

Filming, fun & progress

On Wednesday night after work I headed up the Glen again to do some film with Kate & Ezra, students in Documentary film making. I had agreed to do some climbing for a film they were doing about life around the Ben. So for scenery and a quality route we headed to Scimitar. I soloed the E4 there again which never fails to make me feel good!

Sorting gear before the crag- Pic- Dorota Bankowska

Soloing Fingertip Finale - Pic- Dorota Bankowska

When its been too warm for climbing we've been going up and jumping off Lower Falls which is a great way to freshen up after a day in the shop, or even during it, we jumped on our lunch hour last week.

Kieran in mid somersault at the Falls! Pic - Kaye Black

On Friday to avoid the Royal Wedding crap I met up with 3 mates in the Coe and we headed up North Buttress on the Buachaille. It's the first time I've stood on top of a Munro since the accident and I felt utterly alive during and after. Good to climb with friends I haven't seen for a while too!

Alec, Tam and Neil on the summit of the Buachaille!

Bad Life Choices

Heres a link to a short vid of our day on Saturday, including Johanns first ascent of Bad Life Choices! Edited up by Gee!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQzdSMRmydw&feature=share

Sends in the Glen

It was back up the Glen yesterday with Gee and Johann who were both keen to send their projects. For Johann it was his new route at Upper Scimitar and for Gee it was Fingertip Finale, E4 solo!

The route at Upper Scimitar was pointed out to me over a year ago by Mark McGowan and was beyond what I'm capable of so Johann has been trying it since and it finally went yesterday!

Johann getting prepped for his solo

Johann on first ascent of 'Bad life choices' E7 6b

At the top, I think he was chuffed

Next up was Gee on Fingertip Finale. He had been looking at this line since doing his E5 the other week so he was psyched after watching Johann to get his route done!

Gee visualising the moves, simples!!

Just finishing the crux, not sure the mats would have done much for him at this point!

After the climbing we finished the day by jumping off Lower Falls into a surprisingly warm River Nevis and then to the Achintee for a pint in the beer garden, spot on...............